Vlad and the Girl
by prettyedsilence
Summary: Vlad Taltos, assassinforhire from Steven Brust's wonderful books, finds a girl on the street. A naked girl. What's going on? Review please, I need reviews for an ego boost. Otherwise I get sad and don't write.
1. Chapter 1

Vlad walked down the street, boots clacking merrily. His money purse was jingling, his cloak was fluttering, and life was altogether good. He wasn't even going anywhere in particular. Just walking for the sake of it wasn't something he was accustomed to, but it wasn't turning out so badly. This was a pretty nice alleyway...

At least it seemed so until he heard some old klagga bottles falling over behind him. A dagger quietly reaching his fingers, and he silently cursed his familiar for being away on an impromptu honeymoon.

"Uhhh..." he heard, from a shadowy place about eleven feet away that he couldn't see into. He sincerely hoped that no one was doing anything...interesting...over there, and stalked stealthily towards it.

A trail of long red strands of hair led up towards the face of a beautiful girl. Who was lying all alone, unprotected, and unconscious in the street. She was also naked.

Sure, he had had plently of experience in girlish nakedness, but it wasn't every day that you found a specimen like this lying in the street. Why was she there? And why was she unconscious? And for God's sake, why was she naked?

Embarrasment colored his cheeks a little - she did have a nice body, long but curvy in all the right places - but he drew off his cape and tucked it around her. He found that he wasn't willing to just leave her lying there after that, so he eased himself down next to her to wait out her faint. Waiting was boring, but the girl certainly wasn't. Well, perhaps girl wasn't the right word. She was really a woman. Just a young one. Perhaps eighteen or nineteen...not Dragarean. She looked like a blend of Easterner and Dragarean, actually. Not quite tall enough to be a Dragarean, and her features weren't quite haughty enough. They were elegant features; a small nose and a cupid's bow mouth that looked used to smiling. He wondered what color her eyes were. And more than that he wondered _who she was_.

While he was looking elsewhere, wondering if there were any clues to her origins lying carelessly around, the woman woke up.

She blinked dark grey eyes and raised up slightly on her elbow, throwing the long red hair over one smooth, bare shoulder that the cape had slipped off of. Then she focused on herself, the foreign object covering her, and the strange man at her side. Her mouth opened in shock and she gasped before she could help it.

Instantly, Vlad swung around, cursing himself and wondering how he hadn't noticed her awakening. He surveyed her with cool eyes as she stared back at him with panicked ones. She clutched the cape to her chest and scooted quickly backward, running into a wall before she had gone too far.

"Who...who are you?" she asked in a horrified tone. "What have you done? You..." she looked around wildly and stumbled to her feet.

Vlad stood up smoothly and extended a hand. She shrieked and shrunk back against the wall. He tried not to think about what a _very _interesting picture that made.

"Listen," he said gently, drawing back his hand, "I only found you. I don't know how you got here." Her eyes looked a little less wild, and she straightened up a little, but she still looked wary.

"Where am I, then?" she asked suspiciously.

"East Andrilankha," he replied promptly.

She asked faintly, " Am I... on Earth?"

He stared at her hard, wondering what was wrong with her. "What's Earth?" he asked cautiously.

She fainted.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: _Raina - _Thanks for the review! And by "Loiosh's honeymoon", I mean that Vlad accquires another familiar(Rozca) and Loiosh goes off on a "honeymoon" in the books. Honestly, I just wanted Loiosh out of the picture for a while. But that really does happen in one of the books.

Enjoy - please review if you wish me to write more!

Vlad stared down at the woman, who was yet again at his feet. And not in the really good sense. Did she have a problem with fainting spells, or was there something he didn't know about? Vlad strongly suspected the latter.There was nothing much to do except either wait for her to wake up, or leave altogether. For some reason - Noish-Pa probably would have suggested that it was his sense of Eastern honor - he didn't want to leave. Of course, hang honor, she had some nice curves.

As he was musing, the woman stirred. She opened her eyes, but immediately closed them again. Then opened them. Then closed them.

"Do you plan on stopping that at any time?" he asked, halfways curious. It was a bit of a strange activity after all. And since he had stuck around for a little bit, he felt he deserved some answers.

"No," she groaned, sitting up a little bit. "Not until I stop seeing splotches of black and green, and this strange-looking city." Pulling his cloak tighter around her, she sat up all the way and covered her face with a hand. One cool gray eye investigated him as she added, "No offense, but I wouldn't mind you disappearing either."

"Offense slightly taken," Vlad told her, a smile nevertheless twitching at his mouth. "Why would you like me to disappear?"

The woman shifted, sitting up straighter. "Well, unless I'm much mistaken, this isn't my world. And I have no idea how I got here."

"Are you sure this isn't your world?" Vlad asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Yes, I'm sure, you idiot!" she exploded. Vlad's shoulders tightened. Insulting an assassin isn't smart. The girl had just fainted twice, and was apparently in a whole new world, but putting up with crap still wasn't fun.

"Right," he said, holding on to patience. "And why would that be?"

The woman looked a little abashed. "I'm sorry," she said quietly, hanging her head. "It's just... this is so...so... I'm in another world! The sky is very different - my sky is blue and white - the houses and streets are made differently, and people wear very different clothing. And my name's Margaret. Margaret Portan. Also... people are a little taller."

"So you're telling me that you're from another world. You have no idea how you got here." She nodded. "Of course!"

"One thing I have to ask you, though...why are you naked?" Vlad burst out with.

Margaret looked down at herself and started laughing. Vlad looked a little confused, but cracked a smile. "I have no idea," she said finally. "I was wearing clothes when I left my world!" Then she covered her face with her hands again. "I think I'm slightly hysterical," she informed Vlad.

Vlads' eyes widened at that. "Oh...er. Well... keep hysterics to a minimum. If you please."

"Can I hyperventilate?" she asked.

"If I knew what that meant, I would be better able to judge."

"I'll just not go into that one."

Trying to remain serious, as this was quite a serious situation, Vlad asked, "Alright... so what were you doing in your world - the last thing you remember?"

She blinked. Margaret took her hands off her face and looked down at her lap, and then up into Vlad's eyes.

"I was with my friends. We were in a park. Just... just hanging out and talking. I was on top of a table - sitting on it - and I jumped off. No one was looking at me right then, I'm pretty sure - we were all looking at something Mary had found - I think it was an animal - and I jumped off of the table. I jumped off, and then... and then... I can't remember!" She looked entirely frustrated, almost on the edge of tears. Tears weren't something Vlad was particularly used to. When he went out with women, it was for fun and okay, for other fun. There was no sharing of emotions. And in his line of work, emotional outbursts were not common.

"It's alright," he said, not keen on the idea of this woman crying on his shoulder. Actually, maybe that really wouldn't be too bad an idea...

"Yeah, well, in any case that's all I can remember," she told him in a matter-of-fact manner.

Vlad stood up and offered Margaret a hand.

"I know someone who might be able to help you."


End file.
